Again it's been a while......
...... I've been processing.
I have been trying to figure out what's going on!
The big job in London fell through, for now, it's been put on hold, but I was also told that even though I got further than anyone else in the interview process, I wasn't being recommended to continue forward, at least not right now.
It leaves me wondering why we had the bright lights of London dangled before our eyes. I have to be honest and say that we were really excited by the prospect of leaving provincial Swansea and heading to the big smoke. It has been a little earthquake that has rocked our world and left us checking our foundations. Paula and I have had to go back and examine our motives to want to move: growth, significance, ambition, more money. It was all coming together for a while and then BANG it all started to unravel, we were left chasing the ends trying to pick it back up and put it back together. Eventually we had to decide to drop our dream of moving to London when the weight of wisdom started to show us that it wasn't what God had in store for us at least right now.
Paula and myself were ready to move on but I do not just think that is a function of us being here in Swansea. I think that I am wired to be a pilgrim, a traveller, a pioneer on a journey of adventure and discovery and I am thankful to God that I am married to a fellow adventurer so when we see a new direction on our horizon I think we instinctively start to look and move in that direction. I guess that sometimes we jerk towards new directions out of reaction of being stuck in a rut of going in one direction for too long not always stopping and waiting for divine confirmation of a new direction. I love Jeremiah 6:16
This is what the LORD says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.
But you said, 'We will not walk in it.'
Here we have 2 problems right in front of us:
1. Discerning the ancient paths
&
2. Being obedient to walking in them
I would like to think that I'm great at discerning & amazing at being obedient, but I'm terrible at waiting for the answer and anxious to get going & keep going, no matter which direction, even if it's the wrong one & especially if it's a new direction.
Is it any wonder that I have been down so many one way streets only to butt my head against God's plan for my life, only to have to face up to my wrong turns, my disobedience and u-turn back to the same sign post I failed to spot, discern or willfully disobeyed last time.
I think I may be addicted to movement or change as I often quote but I don't know who said it, 'Change, it's the only constant we know". Perhaps we've become so comfortable with change, as a constant, that it has become the post-modern version of settled. So here's a free slogan from rolystshirtslogans.com "CHANGE IS THE NEW SETTLED" (I'm not sure how many of those shirts I'll sell).
Always wanting the new car~job~ipod~friend~house~clothes~tattoo~church~laptop~phone~piercing as the one I have has just been made obsolete by the newer~slicker~faster~smaller~smarter~better~cheaper model that just came out on Tuesday. This is part of how we have been wired in the current culture, conditioned by marketing, advertising and the media. How else can we have a consumer society? If we stop consuming, if we decided that enough is enough and stop purchasing, stop giving in to our material desires, the western world would pretty quickly grind to a halt.
Is that the answer? Rebellion against the culture, isn't that part of the call of Christ to be counter culture when cultures values collide with God's values? That is not exactly what I am driving at here. The heart of the pilgrim is God given and blessed (Psalm 84) so it's the advertising agencies that are subverting our desire to pioneer and using it for the benefit of their clients profit margins.
So what do we do? Well for a start we have to be discerning, back to that word again and walk in the good way. We have to realise that the desire for the new doesn't always equate to you getting the latest, greatest ............ (fill in the blanks yourself with your own favorite consumer passion).
Journeying isn't all about physically moving. I think this may have been the trap that P & myself fell into about London, we feel more and more like we are ready for the next move and we were prepared to 'move' in the physical when perhaps God was unsettling us so that we were prepared to 'move' in the spiritual or perhaps God wants to move on our mindset, to break the boxes that we put about every different compartment in our lives. After some discernment I think the little earthquakes were sent to shake us up and move us on both the mental and spiritual levels.
As ever I'm interested in seeing where this journey will lead us to? Mentally, physically & spiritually, of course.
